


Best Friends

by dramatical_rhyme



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 10:04:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dramatical_rhyme/pseuds/dramatical_rhyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Koujaku admits that he loves Aoba after years of them being best friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Friends

Aoba blinked. Once, twice. What the hell was going on? He and Koujaku had just been sitting on the floor doing homework when, all of a sudden, Koujaku’s mouth was covering his. Aoba’s first thought was, what? His second, as his eyes fluttered, was the those lips were incredibly too skilled on his. And his third, his eyes flashing open, was to move away. Which he did, thrusting his hands out in front of him and pushing Koujaku away from him with extremely strong force. He almost felt bad at the shock in Koujaku’s eyes as he fell backward. Almost.

“What the _fuck_?” Aoba exclaimed, grimacing. He covered his hand with his mouth. Even though he knew it felt good, and he knew that his face was warm with a blush, he was still angry. “Koujaku, _what?_ ”

Koujaku righted himself, starting to stand. “I-I thought…” He paused, staring down at Aoba, his broken heart showing in his eyes.

Aoba stared hard at him, shaking his head. “You thought wrong Koujaku.” He didn’t even have to tell him to leave. Koujaku bent down, scrabbling for his bags and papers with trembling hands, and left. At least, Aoba wanted to tell himself that he’d thought wrong.

\----

The two had been best friends since they were younger. After kindergarten, when Aoba would be home alone waiting for Granny to return, Koujaku would be there. He would walk him home, find him when he was lost, and stay with him until he wouldn’t be alone any longer. Aoba loved him; he was the older brother he never had. He was someone to play with and laugh with after his parents left and when Granny was too busy with work. Aoba looked up to him and cherished him as a precious friend.

They went to middle school, and then high school together. Of course, Koujaku was always his senior, Aoba was always stumbling to catch up to him. Koujaku was taller, more outgoing, got all the girls, had so many friends and followers… Aoba still looked up to him, even now. He was jealous, jealous of him for getting all those girls, for being so talented and motivated for the things he loved.

They had lunch together every day. When Koujaku wasn’t busy with his part-time job at the hair salon, he would come over to Aoba’s to study and watch videos together. Aoba cherished the time they were together. Even though Koujaku insisted he wouldn’t go to college; that he wanted to just train to be a hairstylist here, Aoba feared that after he graduated they wouldn’t be seeing much of each other.

Aoba’s friends had hinted at it. They had asked him, prodded him, totally catching what was on Koujaku’s mind. But Aoba hadn’t. Either he hadn’t seen, or he hadn’t wanted to believe. More like he couldn’t believe it. What right did he have to think that Koujaku maybe liked him any more than a little kid he had to look after, a child who he had fun with and who looked up to him. Who was he to Koujaku other than that? Definitely not a love interest. There was no way that could happen, they were like siblings; the best of friends.

But Aoba should have noticed it. He should have noticed the way Koujaku’s fingers lingered on his neck when he combed through his hair gently. He should have noticed how when he asked if Aoba would call him senpai, and Aoba said “you have all those girls who say it, why should I?” that Koujaku had said “they’re not the ones who matter.” He should have noticed that he wouldn’t take baths with him anymore. That he couldn’t get too close without flinching away.

How had he not noticed? Had he let it happen?

Aoba buried his head into his pillow, fighting the urge to cry a few hours after Koujaku had left his house. How was he going to talk about this later. Had he led Koujaku on? Had he? Aoba really didn’t know. And he didn’t know how he felt about that kiss. He was embarrassed to think that it felt good. Sickened with himself for thinking that he might want more….

What was Koujaku thinking, starting to like him? How many times had they talked about being closer than siblings? About how Aoba couldn’t do anything without Koujaku? What had changed? When had it started?

Aoba curled his fists into the sheets and groaned. He had told Granny he wasn’t hungry when she called him down for dinner, and now it was already late. After Koujaku had left, he’d done all his homework and studying in a rush. He didn’t even know if he’d done it right.

But it was late. And tomorrow was going to be a long day. He got up, changed, turned off the lights and forced himself to sleep.

\----

“Oi, Aoba, what’s wrong?” Mizuki poked him from behind.

Aoba had gotten to class early, which was rather unusual, and had his head buried in his arms. “You were right,” he muttered, the sleeves of his uniform muffling his voice. “About Koujaku,” he clarified, sighing.

He heard a whoop of laughter from Mizuki who pounded on his back. “Look, what did I tell you! He’s liked you for a long time.”

Aoba groaned and refused to lift his head. There were still a couple of minutes before home room started. Maybe he could sleep a little. Mizuki tapped on his shoulder, more gently this time. Of course he wouldn’t be able to sleep.

He turned around in his chair and straddled it with his legs so he could place his head in his arms on Mizuki’s desk instead. Mizuki patted his head comfortingly. “So what happened.”

“He kissed me,” Aoba whispered, his face flaring red again. “He kissed me and I told him he was wrong and he left.”

Mizuki was quiet. Aoba, with his head hidden, hoped that the bell would ring soon so that he wouldn’t have to say any more. Despite how angry and confused he was, Aoba had still made lunch for Koujaku. It was Wednesday, and Wednesday was the day that Aoba and Koujaku decided that Aoba would make lunch for them. It gave them a break from buying, and also helped Aoba learn how to cook. So he’d gotten up early, after almost no sleep, and made lunch boxes for them that were sitting in his cubby at the back of the room. He was tempted to get them now, stomach rumbling with lack of breakfast.

“So what’re you gonna do?” Mizuki finally asked. Aoba lifted his head, looking at his friend pleadingly. Mizuki raised his hands and smiled wryly. “Hey, don’t ask me. You know I’m no good at this stuff.” Aoba eyes his tattooed friend. Both Mizuki and Koujaku had tattoos, and Mizuki was an aspiring tattoo artist. Though he wasn’t the one who’d done Koujaku’s.

Aoba lowered his eyes and rested his chin on his arms, pouting. He didn’t want to think about that right now. It would just make this whole mess with Koujaku even worse.

“I don’t know, Mizuki. Koujaku has always been a brother to me and I-“ the bell rang. Mizuki shook his head as Aoba started to turn around, letting him know they’d talk about it later. Mizuki was the only one he could really talk to about it, anyway.

\----

Koujaku was at the door like always at lunch. And like usual the girls were surrounding him, calling him senpai and asking if they could schedule haircuts with him. Aoba grimaced. He looked to Mizuki for help but he just motioned toward the door and told him he had to deal with it himself.

“Thanks _so_ much for your help,” Aoba muttered as he walked around his friend to get the lunchboxes, hitting him on the shoulder.

“My pleasure,” Mizuki replied, smiling brightly. Aoba had to smile back, accepting the punch in return. He could feel Koujaku watching him, and he immediately stiffened up. No matter how many times he had run through what could happen today, he wasn’t ready.

His heart started to pound and his hands were already shaking by the time he grabbed the lunch boxes, making his way towards the door where Koujaku and all the girls in his class, stood.

“Let’s go,” Aoba muttered, unable to look at his best friend. Frustrated, his mind a jumbled mess, he made his way towards the roof top without even checking to see if Koujaku was behind him.

He sat quickly, at the edge against the bars that stopped kids from jumping or falling off, and unwrapped the boxes; one for him and one for Koujaku. He didn’t look up as Koujaku walked over him, just slid the box to the side for him.

Koujaku sat, said his thanks, and started to eat. Aoba mumbled the same, and fitted his chopsticks in his hand. Today’s meal wasn’t too bad. It had taste and wasn’t overcooked or anything. “I’m sorry, Aoba.” Aoba nearly dropped his chopsticks in surprise. He glanced up at Koujaku, who was looking at him with apologetic, sad eyes.

“I’m sorry for startling you, Aoba.” Aoba bit his lower lip and lowered his chopsticks to his bento box, sliding it off of his lap. Koujaku reached out a hand and took Aoba’s chin gently. He didn’t bother to pull away. He knew Koujaku wouldn’t try to kiss him or anything again. “I want you to know that I love you,” were his next words. They knocked the breath out of Aoba, making him unable to move. “I love you and I always have. I’m in love with you.” Koujaku’s dark eyes searched Aoba’s, who was unable to look away. They held him with steely strength. Aoba felt his eyes prick with something, something he didn’t want to acknowledge. Koujaku’s scarred fingers tightened on his chin, brushing his skin softly. Aoba shuddered, blushing. He couldn’t say anything.

“I know you don’t feel the same, and that you may see me as an older brother. But…” His eyes narrowed and Aoba gulped. He was not going to cry. He was not. Not even because the reality he’d known his whole life was being shattered. Koujaku shook his head sadly. “I don’t feel that way about you, and I never have.” He paused again and then stood, his fingers falling from Aoba’s chin. “I’m sorry.”

Aoba didn’t watch as he left. He just stared at Koujaku’s empty lunch box, breathing hard and wondering how he was going to fix this.

\----

Days passed, and they didn’t talk. Koujaku didn’t show up for lunch, nor did he walk home with Aoba. The longer it went on, the more depressed and anxious Aoba became. Mizuki tried to keep him company but it wasn’t the same. He even tried to suggest to Aoba that maybe he felt this upset because he was in love with Koujaku, too. But Aoba tried not to consider that possibility, thinking it was hardly even a possibility at all.

Then it was a week, then two, and then nearly a month.

Aoba found himself at Mizuki’s tattoo shop, or the one he was interning at. Mizuki had offered to slip him some alcohol and of course he’d happily obliged, anything to get his head off of Koujaku; he was all Aoba could think about for that month. And it wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair.

After just a few shots Aoba’s head was cloudy. He was pissed that Mizuki had cut him off and was now on the phone with someone. He buried his face into his arms on the bar table and started to talk, maybe thinking that Mizuki or someone would be listening and would _help_ him figure his mind out.

“I don’t dislike Koujaku. It’s just that I’ve always looked up to him my whole life. He was an older brother and family, after they all left me. What am I supposed to do now that he says he can’t be an older brother. That he’s loved me? What bull-shit, it’s not fair. What am I supposed to do now, how am I supposed to view my life.” He paused to take a swig from the cup of water Mizuki had put in front of him. He wanted more alcohol, but whatever. “Seriously, though, tell me. What does he want? He wants me to love him? Well I’ve already loved him my whole stupid life just not the way he wants…”

And he kept going. Saying the same things over and over, working himself up more and more, until a warm hand on his shoulder interrupted him. At first he thought it might be Mizuki, but Mizuki was in front of him looking at him pathetically. He whipped around to find it was Koujaku, he stood, opened his mouth to tell Koujaku the time of day, and nearly fell over.

“Woah.” Koujaku caught him with two strong arms and pulled him back to his feet. Heat rose to Aoba’s face, making him dizzier, but he didn’t pull away from Koujaku. “I’m going to take him home, I guess,” his deep voice blurred Aoba’s brain. It had been so long since he’d heard that voice… tears welled up in his eyes.

“Please, before he gets us both in trouble,” Mizuki’s voice was far away.

“Aoba, can you walk? If not I’m going to carry you.” Aoba shook his head and then clambered onto Koujaku’s back. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had a piggy back from Koujaku before, but now everywhere he touched burned as though it was their first time touching. Or maybe it was just from the alcohol. Aoba rested his cheek against Koujaku’s neck and closed his yes. 

“You suck,” he growled, just loud enough for Koujaku to hear.

“…I know.” Koujaku’s voice was soft, apologetic, and wavering. Maybe he was nervous. Aoba almost laughed. Koujaku didn’t even get nervous around girls, how would he be nervous around him? He tightened his legs around Koujaku’s waist, brushed his hands over the skin of his open chest, and pressed his nose into the nape of his neck.

Koujaku shuddered under his touches and Aoba’s body trilled with excitement. He sniffed deeply and then breathed out, his stomach swirling. “But you smell good,” he whispered, eyelids fluttering.

All of a sudden they were in Aoba’s room and he felt a body of heat above him. Koujaku was sliding him off his back, getting ready to leave. Aoba squirmed, tightened his arms around Koujaku, and tugged.

“A-Aoba…” Koujaku lost his balance, falling over Aoba onto the bed. They were tangled, and Aoba didn’t want to let go, no matter what.

“Don’t go.” The pathetic words fell loosely from his lips before he could stop them. And then the sobs started. Aoba told himself it was the alcohol, but he didn’t know for sure. “Please, Koujaku. Don’t ignore me.”

He felt Koujaku stiffen, and then relax above him. “Loosen your arms, I won’t leave.” Aoba sniffed, hiccupping, and let go to instead cover his eyes.

“You suck, for leaving me alone.” The words shivered on his lips. How pathetic.

“I know,” Koujaku’s voice was soft. A warm hand brushed across Aoba’s forehead, moving his bangs away from his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Then stay with me?” Aoba reached his arms up again, lacing his fingers through Koujaku’s hair, and pulled his head down. Before he even really realized what he was doing, or what he wanted to do, he’d pressed his lips against Koujaku’s. Warmth assaulted him, spreading from his stomach and making his fingertips tingle. Koujaku’s lips were soft, but closed to him. Aoba broke away once, and then came back. He flicked his tongue over Koujaku’s lips, and at his gasp, he pressed his tongue in, curling it around Koujaku’s.

Koujaku moaned quietly, lomgingly, then pulled away, disentangling himself from Aoba. He was breathing hard, his eyes were lidded, and his cheeks were a deep, deep red. “I’ll stay,” he said, voice gruff and deep. Aoba’s insides shuddered. “But only if you stop that.”

Aoba smiled, and closed his eyes.

\----

Aoba was disoriented when he woke up, despite being in his own room. Heat throbbed around him and he was almost dripping in sweat. It took him a while to realize that he was hot because he and Koujaku were pressed together in his small twin bed. That made him smile. He looked down at his friend who was sleeping peacefully, and really looked. Koujaku looked so happy, so serene. Aoba had always liked the scar that stretched over the bridge of his nose and he reached out a hand to touch it now. The skin was puffy and hard.

Quickly, before Koujaku could wake, he removed his hand and sighed. Koujaku was his best friend. Then why had he kissed him the night before? He remembered clearly the pleasure and happiness that had spread through him when their lips touched, when their tongue intertwined.

Aoba clenched his jaw and curled towards Koujaku. Denying the warmth he felt pooling in his lower body. He nuzzled his nose into that long neck, sinking into his familiar scent. He breathed a sigh, lips brushing against the warm skin, and his nerves prickled. He wanted to do something so bad. But he held back, he had to, especially since Koujaku was starting to stir.

Aoba thought that Koujaku would surely pull away when he realized how close Aoba was to him, that it would take forever to get this close to him again. And all he wanted was to be with his best friend. And he wanted to kiss him again. What did that mean?

But instead of pulling away, Koujaku yawned and slid his arms around Aoba’s waist, pulling him close. He thrust a leg between Aoba’s and kissed the top of his head. Aoba let him.

“I love you, Aoba,” Koujaku whispered. Aoba knew, somehow, that his friend was half asleep, and all the better for it.

“Yeah,” Aoba said, smiling. “I know.” He shifted in his friends arms and wrapped his own around Koujaku’s broad shoulders. He kisses the little indent at the bottom of his neck, licked it, and pressed his teeth to the sensitive skin. He felt Koujaku jerk in his grip, but he held him tight. Did the fact he wanted to do thinks to Koujaku mean that he wanted more out of their relationship? Koujaku obviously wanted more than friendship, but did Aoba really? Maybe Mizuki was right afterall…

Aoba didn’t know, but he was breathless, and he knew that he wanted more, and would still want more when Koujaku woke up, and would probably want more later that day, the next day, the next week and month. He didn’t want to part from this special person. But for now he just closed his eyes again, sighing himself to sleep. He figured they would have to talk about it in the morning. But as long as Koujaku didn’t run away it would be fine. As long as he had Koujaku by his side, no matter how long it took for them to get used to a different relationship between them, Aoba figured they should try.

**Author's Note:**

> Gahh I didn't write this the way I wanted it to turn out. I wanted it to be longer and more awkward, but I got super lazy. Maybe I can make like series of drabbles or something related to it later. I don't want to do a chaptered story cause I'll stop in the middle >> Anyway, despite how fast paced it is I hope it's okay <3


End file.
